"But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies"

The other night I had a dinner party- I invited over my eight closest friends from uni and cooked for them and fed them wine. I'm determined to stay close to them in our post-uni lives because I will never be that person who only has friends from their current venture. I think it's really important to have old friends because they can't replaced. Old friends have lived through your experiences with you, they know you in a way new friends can't. new friends may eventually become old friends but when you lose an old friend you lose so many memories. Besides that, I don't know if I'm going to follow a career in the law and I need friends who know that side of me. My university friends are typical law students- ridiculous A-type personalities who are loud and stubborn, who can't ask for help and will argue about anything. For hours. I make them all sound like stereotypes and exactly the same, which isn't true. One of my uni friends is the ultimate idealistic guy who believes that politics really can be different and the perfect girl is just around the corner. Another is a practical swing voter who has been with the same guy for three years who she doesn't love but admits 'there's no one better'. Of course, for the most part, those two don't get along.

Anyway, with the exception of two who are still studying, the rest of them graduated with me. Of those who graduated, two are doing further study and the other four have full-time jobs. I usually hang out with them on weekend and it was different spending time with them on a week night when they all had to be at work by 9am the next morning. it struck me how exhausted they all seemed. I would say miserable, but I don't think that's actually true. I know they would be more miserable without work. One guy stayed at my house until 7am because grudgingly leaving and saying he'd best go home and get his suit so he could go straight to work. None of them drank more than 2 glasses of wine and stared pitifully at the empty glass when it was gone.

I guess this is growing up.

It terrifies me. Seeing friends I have shared years of drinking, debauchery, stupid hook-ups, fights, travel and adventures with grow up into adults with jobs and relationships and weekend BBQs. I cannot do that. The idea of me getting up every morning at 7am, changing into a suit and going to work at an office where I never see sunlight makes me stomach churn. But can I actually escape that? Or are growing up and having fun mutually exclusive concepts? I really really hope not. But here i am, about to flee reality and the country because I can't face up to my future so maybe I know deep down that the adventure ends with a career.

I don't want drudgery. I want to wake up each day with a new idea, a new plan. I want to meet new people and see new things and be a new person. I want to learn and laugh and have fun. I'm not ready to grow up. And I can't stand seeing people I love fall down the black hold of adulthood. Even if that's what they want.

“If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle."

I probably spend way too much time thinking about my hair. Waaay more than the average person. This is probably due to the fact that since high school, my hair has been every colour of the rainbow. And I don't just mean blonde, brunette and red (although I've had all those) but all the colours you've ever since on a street punk- purple, pink, blue...the list goes on. I'm currently sporting a mix of yellow and green.

Because of this, I worry about my hair a lot. What colour I'm going to do next mostly (I have a bag with at least 10 brand new dyes sitting in my bathroom cupboard) but also about the condition of my hair. I was lucky enough to inherit my mother's strong, thick Chinese hair...but it's also very dark and has to be bleached regularly. We all know bleach isn't good for hair and it's recommended not to bleach any hair twice. I recently bleached my hair 3 times to attempt removing a stubborn blue dye...I even bleached it twice in a day. I also washed it with a range of horrendous items such as dish-washing detergent and laundry powder. I am also essentially a beach bum and have spent every day off I've had this summer at the pool and beach. Chlorine, salt water and the sun strip colour and moisture out of hair like nobody's business.

My hair is what those in the profession would refer to as 'damaged'. But, actually, it's not that bad. In fact, most people who touch my hair are surprised that it's soft and doesn't snap off. I used to be super slack with my hair and would wash it with soap and just hope it would be okay but that lead to a few disasters. I now own several shelves of hair products and an intensive regime so that my hair doesn't resemble painted straw including:

• Sulphate-free Shampoo. I basically only shampoo my hair once or twice a week. Shampoo is pretty drying and also strips colour like a bitch so I only shampoo my hair if it looks and feels oily and dirty, or if I've been swimming or something (or if I'm washing out oil). Supermarket shampoo, even those designed for coloured hair, are generally shit and will result in colour disappearing down the drain. Stuff from hair stores is more expensive, but so worth it when you consider how much dying your hair costs.
• Leave in Conditioner. I am such a fan of leave in conditioner. It doesn't really matter what brand. I go to bed with leave in conditioner most nights and wake up with softer hair. If it still feels dry when I wake up, I put a bit more in. 
• Moisture/Conditioner Sprays. Lighter than a leave in conditioner, moisture sprays are good for coating wet, just washed hair or when you want a moisture kick that won't change the way your hair is currently styled/sitting. They can also be used throughout the day if you've just been to the gym or beach or something.
• Deep Conditioners. I am slightly obsessed with Pantene 3 Minute Miracle. This stuff works wonders and is reasonable cheap (especially on special) being available at supermarkets. I discovered it in Queensland a few years ago on holiday when my hair had become brittle from swimming every day and it fixed it almost instantly. I tend to use once a week or so.
• Conditioner generally. Conditioner is one of those things that has more uses than expected. I've also noticed little difference in cheap and expensive conditioner, so I tend to buy the $2 one. Conditioner does actually clean your hair (not as well as shampoo but still) and I condition my hair more often than I shampoo it. For a deep condition, you can leave the conditioner on for an hour or so before rinsing it out. Conditioner is also useful when shaving your legs, and washing your skin with it will leave it feeling soft as well (especially after a day in the sun).
• Hair Oil. I tend to avoid store bought hot oil treatments and the like, but I do do an oil treatment on my hair perhaps every two weeks. I always coat my hair in coconut oil before bleaching which helps to minimise damage and then I use a mixture of coconut oil and olive oil as a hair treatment. These are just the regular oils you use for cooking. There's a bit of dispute about which oils are best for hair and I think everyone's hair is a bit different and different oils suit different hair. I love coconut oil, partly because of how it smells, but I use a bit of olive oil otherwise my hair gets a bit crunchy. Other people prefer straight olive oil, although I find that a bit greasy, or avocado oil. You can also buy special hair oils, often argan, but it's much more expensive. If you plan to leave it in this is a much better option than say, olive oil although a tiny bit of coconut oil can be left in.
• Keratin. I'm actually not that big of a fan of keratin. I don't think my hair is that hard-up for protein, and if I feel it is I'll wash it with mayonnaise as I feel that's softer, but I do use a keratin spray if I use heat tools such as a hair dryer on my hair. That said, I don't use straighteners or curlers very often. I imagine if you did keratin sprays would be more useful.
• Hair Dye. Little known fact: semi-permanent dyes are usually excellent conditioners. Dyes such as Manic Panic and Fudge should leave your hair in better condition than before you put it in. So don't be afraid to leave bright dye in for twice the recommended time. It's not permanent dye loaded with chemicals. And if you want a pastel shade, mix the colour with conditioner for coloured hair and a conditioning treatment in one.

Nobody likes fried hair. Whether you bleach it, dye it, over-use heat styling or just swim a lot conditioner and oils should be spending a lot of time in your hair. I had a customer at work the other day with over-processed platinum frizz. I wanted to tie her down and dump her head in a bucket of olive oil. There really isn't any excuse for shit hair.

See, I told you I think about my hair too much.

"I want something else, to get me through this, semi charmed kinda of life"

How to tell you're not so much a hot mess as just a fucking mess (again):

This story comes from The Best Friend.

It was the middle of the week and The Best Friend went to go see this band we're mates with. She happens to have a little thing for the lead singer (okay, it's a big thing, but he had a girlfriend forever and she'd basically accepted the fact that it was never going to happen and then they suddenly broke up except now he just wants to sleep with 18 year old sluts) but claimed she was just going along to support friends.

The gig was a success, except for the fact that the lead singer kept flashing her looks during their set which she ignored (while, of course, hoping they actually meant something). Afterwards they went for drinks. The drummer went home with one of the girls he is regularly sleeping with. The other girl he is regularly sleeping with continued to hang out with The Best Friend, the lead singer and the bassist. The bassist took acid and all but passed out on the bar floor. The rest of them hung out in an awkward circle where everyone was flirting with someone different.

The ended up all going back to the girl's house. She got naked and tried to convince the rest of them to follow suit. The bassist was passed out on the floor. The other two were just sort of like this is weird...let's have another drink. Finally the bassist announced he had to go home. Ditching the naked girl the other three went to go and find a taxi. After wandering the streets for hours (and a random stop at Maccas) they finally got home. It was 7am.

The Best Friend crashed into bed, slept a few hours, showered and then headed off to work at 1pm. She was busy selling stationary and setting up VM moves for over an hour and then her boss pulled her aside. He asked if she'd been drinking. The Best Friend admitted she'd been out the night before, but only for a few hours. It had, after all, been a Wednesday night. And she hadn't been that bad. She hadn't even taken drugs.

Her boss told her she stank of alcohol, that it was not on, and she was sent home. Unpaid.

Yeah. Her boss is an arsehole who obviously never gets laid. And doesn't use alcohol to forget that fact.

“The whole bloody world's got a commitment problem"

There are three things that make me extremely suspicious of other people. I really struggle to look past these things. That may make me a judgmental bitch but whatever, a girl has to have standards.

1. People who don't have both male and female friends. I don't care what gender you are, but if all of your friends are either male or female there is something wrong with you. And a boyfriend/girlfriend does not count as a friend, nor does your boyfriend/girlfriend's friends (unless you do have an independent friendship). Everyone should have a friend of both genders they can call when they're up shit creek. Otherwise it shows you can't associate with both males and females properly and that is a problem. One of my friends went out with a guy in our friendship circle who wasn't close with any of the girls and didn't have any other female friends. Unsurprisingly he was a shit boyfriend and dumped her after a year saying he 'could do better'. He was also convinced all us other girls had a thing for him and were flirting with him. I didn't find that out until later, which may be why he was so awkward around us. Either way, people who don't understand both genders have issues.
2. People who don't drink. As I've mentioned earlier, drinking is a large part of my social life and I can't understand or trust people who don't drink. These sorts of people are usually stuck-up and wankery, or freakishly religious, or just not very fun. Then there are the people who have had alcohol issues in the past and have given it up, which okay good on them, but that is not an issue I'm dealing with when you can't handle me drinking around you. I don't see the point in a steak without a glass of wine, or a BBQ without beer, or...well you see where I'm going. People who don't drink have usually made less bad decisions, have less amusing stories and are less open-minded.
3. People who don't like the TV show 'Friends'. I am well aware that it has been years since everyone was wondering will-they-or-won't-they about Ross and Rachel, but perhaps that is the point. This show is old enough that everyone has seen an episode and yet it remains as culturally relevant as it did 15 years ago. There is a Friends episode for every moment in life, a character that is exactly like that person you are discussing...and it is a show that will always always be funny. If someone doesn't find Friends funny you have to wonder what do they find funny? The answer is most likely to be nothing or Funniest Home Videos or pulling wings of a fly, none of which is a good answer. If someone can't enjoy and laugh at Friends, they probably can't enjoy or laugh at life. And if someone has never seen Friends...there is no hope for them. Even my friend who has never owned a TV has seen Friends. And loved it, of course.

"2am, I'm on a blackout binge again"

How to tell you're not so much a hot mess as just a fucking mess:

Last weekend was my cousin's wedding. Now, I have a lot of cousins and I'm not particularly close to any of them, probably due to the fact that I have so many. Which isn't to say that I don't like my extended family. I do, with the exception of their frequent questioning of what I'm going to do with the rest of my life. That isn't exactly their fault. We don't see each other often enough for them to realise that I am so fucking sick of getting asked what I'm going to be doing next year I want to hit them all.

Or...get really really drunk. Weddings equal free booze. Cue me being the first person in line as soon as the bar opened. Okay, I lie. I was second. Right behind my dad. Cue me downing 3 beers and a glass of red before the entree was served. And lots more wine to follow that. There was plenty of (incredible) food, but not nearly enough to soak up all the booze I was gulping.

So there was me. The first one on the dance floor as soon as the music started. The first one to start loudly clapping and cheering during the speeches. The first one knocking people down to get into the photobooth with my novelty oversized glasses. And that is just the stuff I remember.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, I was well and truly wasted. And I am a loud drunk. I don't do sitting quietly at the table trying not to be sick. I am all manic laughter and tripping over my high heels. My family? With the exception of my father they are not big drinkers and even if they do indulge, they are quiet about it.

My parents had to take me home early and put me to bed. I was supposed to go out with The Best Friend afterwards but I was apparently in no shape.

Since I woke up the next morning still wearing my shoes and with no memory of the bouquet I supposedly caught it was probably a fair call.

A couple of years ago The Best Friend was told by her mother that she had ruined Christmas when her scorpion back tattoo was discovered on Christmas Eve (she was also told she'd ruined Christmas then year after that, but that's another story). I ruined my cousin's wedding.

"Who run the world? Girls"

I have known my best friend a very long time. We've been best mates for over a decade and I couldn't imagine life without her. We've been through everything together, from death and break-ups to overseas holidays and drunken birthday parties to falling out with dozens of our other friends. The Best Friend knows basically everything about me and vice versa because we have been there through every hilarious or dramatic moment in each others lives and we can have entire conversations with just looks.

In year seven she made me walk up this huge hill every day after school so we could stalk the guy she liked. In year eight we sent each other emails every single day when I lived in the United States and she was home in Australia. In year nine I tried to convince her not to ask this guy out because he was a douche but she did anyway and he rejected her horrible and I baked her terrible cupcakes and we watched stupid movies and I never once said 'I told you so'. In year ten she lied to our English teacher for me constantly because I was always skipping class and once threw another friend's pencil case out the window. In year 11 we both took year 12 psychology and competed to get the top mark. In year 12 she told me a guy friend of mine was in love with me but I didn't believe her and attempted to turn him into my study buddy but we never actually got any study done.

I think it's really important to have people in your life that you've known a long time and who just get to and you don't have to explain everything to you because they know what has happened in your life. It takes a long time for someone to become an 'old' friend so you really have to work on it. I don't have many other friends from high school. I had a really close knit group but we all fell out a few years ago. A couple of girls got their first boyfriends and just completely disappeared (I hate it when girls do that more than anything). One of those girls is still with her boyfriend. Another broke up, but I couldn't bring myself to truly forgive her. I still see her sometimes but we aren't very close. Another girl turned out to be a bit pf a psycho who made bizarre threats and lied about things to turn people against each other and I eventually became sick of her childish behaviour.

Anyway, I think we and my best friend have the perfect friendship because we trust and love each other unconditionally and also because we are the perfect mixture of similarities and differences. We both like a drink, listen to the same music, wear a lot of black, are cynical and jaded about certain things, dislike self-involved couples and have the same sense of humour. On the other hand I read a lot and follow sport, she spend most of her time discovering new bands and getting tattoos. She is more judgmental than I am and I am more outgoing than she is. Overall we are a good match. We got lucky in finding each other. A best friend is like a leather jacket: it always fits perfectly, goes with everything and gets better with age.

"My only interests are drinking wine and judging people"

The last two weekends I've had to take myself home early from a party because I got too drunk. Oops.

If I'm honest (and nothing allows for honesty more than anonymous Internet blogging) I would probably say I have an alcohol problem. Not a dependance, that sounds far too serious, but a problem. It's a bit: I'm not an alcoholic I don't go to meetings; I'm a drunk I go to parties. I don't think I abuse alcohol more than any other Australian my age, but then I have noticed I'm always the first to head to the bar in social situations. It's just that I like a drink.

Yes, I use alcohol to deal with my problems. When I was rejected from a job I really wanted (before my career apathy set in obviously) I went out and drank until I was blind and spent the next day in bed sick. When I found out the guy I really liked had started going out with another girl I went and bought a bottle of strawberry daiquiri cocktail, drank the whole thing and danced around my room to the Arctic Monkeys. Healthy? Physically probably not, but mentally it made me feel a hell of a lot better.

I drink when I'm sad, I drink when I'm happy. I drink to celebrate, I drink to commiserate. I drink when I'm angry, I drink when I'm calm. I drink when I'm on holiday, I drink when I have work early the next morning. I drink on my birthday, on Christmas, on Halloween, on Saturday. I drink at dinner, I drink in pubs, I drink at clubs. Most of my social life revolves around drinking in some respect.

Drinking makes me happy. I'm a cheerful drunk. You won't find me sitting in the corner crying or whining about life (except one time when I found out a friend had been lying to me about hooking up with another friend and I became irrationally upset and was crying, yelling and trying to knock a tree down). I'm dancing, or laughing, or photo bombing someone else's photos, or making new friends. I like to drink because it's fun. When I'm happy it's a way to enjoy myself and my good mood. When I'm unhappy it always cheers me up. Vodka and wine never ever let me down.

You know what? I change my mind. I don't have a problem. I have a solution.