"My only interests are drinking wine and judging people"

The last two weekends I've had to take myself home early from a party because I got too drunk. Oops.

If I'm honest (and nothing allows for honesty more than anonymous Internet blogging) I would probably say I have an alcohol problem. Not a dependance, that sounds far too serious, but a problem. It's a bit: I'm not an alcoholic I don't go to meetings; I'm a drunk I go to parties. I don't think I abuse alcohol more than any other Australian my age, but then I have noticed I'm always the first to head to the bar in social situations. It's just that I like a drink.

Yes, I use alcohol to deal with my problems. When I was rejected from a job I really wanted (before my career apathy set in obviously) I went out and drank until I was blind and spent the next day in bed sick. When I found out the guy I really liked had started going out with another girl I went and bought a bottle of strawberry daiquiri cocktail, drank the whole thing and danced around my room to the Arctic Monkeys. Healthy? Physically probably not, but mentally it made me feel a hell of a lot better.

I drink when I'm sad, I drink when I'm happy. I drink to celebrate, I drink to commiserate. I drink when I'm angry, I drink when I'm calm. I drink when I'm on holiday, I drink when I have work early the next morning. I drink on my birthday, on Christmas, on Halloween, on Saturday. I drink at dinner, I drink in pubs, I drink at clubs. Most of my social life revolves around drinking in some respect.

Drinking makes me happy. I'm a cheerful drunk. You won't find me sitting in the corner crying or whining about life (except one time when I found out a friend had been lying to me about hooking up with another friend and I became irrationally upset and was crying, yelling and trying to knock a tree down). I'm dancing, or laughing, or photo bombing someone else's photos, or making new friends. I like to drink because it's fun. When I'm happy it's a way to enjoy myself and my good mood. When I'm unhappy it always cheers me up. Vodka and wine never ever let me down.

You know what? I change my mind. I don't have a problem. I have a solution.